How I Survived
The CI Life Warrior
Candace Cisman
Candace Y. Cisman,AA,HT, President & CEO
My Story: How I Survived
Fibromyalgia, Tremors, Neuropathy, Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder
Hello, dear one. Let me share something God has been teaching me — and it has transformed everything about how I navigate life with chronic illness. When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2006, after leaving my career as a histopathologist and finding myself bedridden, I approached my illness the way I'd been trained: as a purely physical problem needing a physical solution. But God had bigger lessons in store for me. Here's what the Lord has shown me through my lived experience — and my body tells the story: Your body isn't just a vessel that's broken. It's a journal, a testimony, a living witness to everything you've walked through. My body? It tells a whopper of a tale. From my service in the USAF to my decade peering through a microscope as a board-certified histopathologist, to the moment fibromyalgia stole my career, to the collapse of my first marriage when my husband "checked out," to the PTSD that followed, to returning to school for Business Administration while fighting to reclaim my life, to the collision of traumas that eventually brought me to my knees — it's all written here, in my muscles, my nerves, my fatigue. God has shown me that I can only find true stability when I honor the connections between body, heart, mind, and spirit — with Him at the very center. Because here's the truth: Your lived experiences don't just stay in your memories. They show up in your body. The grief you carry in your heart tightens your chest. The trauma you survived settles into your fascia. The stress you push through manifests as flare-ups you can't explain. When my first marriage failed under the weight of my illness, I thought I was just dealing with heartbreak. But God revealed that my body was carrying that betrayal, that abandonment, that fear. The PTSD from my service and from relationships that crumbled when I needed support most — it wasn't just "in my head." It was written in my chronic pain, my insomnia, my exhaustion. Why does this connection matter? Because God designed us as whole beings, not fragmented parts. Your body holds the physical truth of what you're experiencing. Your heart carries the emotional weight of what you've survived. Your mind tries to make sense of it all, to find control. And your spirit — that part of you that God breathed into existence — yearns to stay connected to Him, even when everything else feels broken. But when we try to treat only the body, ignoring what our heart and mind are screaming, we remain unstable. When we live only in our heads, analyzing and planning, disconnected from our physical reality, we miss what God is trying to tell us through our symptoms. When our spirit is starving for connection with the Lord, the other three suffer. God's direction has been clear: Stability comes ONLY through integration — with Him at the center. When I finally surrendered to His wisdom, when I allowed Him to heal not just my body but my heart — the grief over my lost career, the betrayal of my first marriage, the trauma of my service — when I invited Him into my mind to renew my thoughts, when I centered my spirit in daily connection with Him — that's when stability finally came. Not a cure. Fibromyalgia is still here. But stability — the ability to weather the storms because all parts of me are anchored in Christ. This website exists because God has called me to create a space where you can tend to your whole self. Where you can acknowledge that your body tells your story — and every story matters to Him. Where you can find the stability that only comes when body, heart, mind, and spirit are aligned under His direction. Your body is telling your story right now. What is it saying? And are you willing to let God into all of it — the physical, the emotional, the mental, the spiritual — so He can bring you the stability He promises? You're not alone in this journey. God sees you. I see you. Welcome.
Where It All Began
For years, I navigated a medical system that could not explain the pain, fatigue, and fog that had overtaken my life. I sat in waiting rooms, filled out forms, and heard the same phrase again and again: 'Everything looks normal.'
But nothing was normal. And in those lonely spaces — the hospital hallways, the sleepless nights, the Sunday mornings I could not get out of bed — I began to understand that I was not the only one feeling completely invisible.
A Journey Through Time
Two decades of illness, faith, grief, and ultimately — purpose. This is how CI Life Warrior came to be.
The Storm Before the Diagnosis
Unexplained symptoms begin to appear — debilitating fatigue, widespread pain, and cognitive fog that physicians cannot explain. The beginning of a long and difficult diagnostic journey.
The Medical Maze Begins
Multiple specialist visits and tests yield conflicting results. The symptoms intensify while answers remain elusive and the dismissals mount.
Fibromyalgia: A Name at Last
A first major diagnosis is confirmed. With it comes a complex mixture of relief and grief — finally named, yet no cure in sight.
Invisible to the System
Insurance battles, dismissive providers, and deepening cognitive fog. The isolation of invisible illness becomes achingly real.
Isolated in the Pew
Chronic illness begins to distance me from traditional church participation, from my husband, my children, family and friends. The faith community struggles to include what it cannot see.
Faith Under Fire
Spiritual wrestling intensifies — crying out in lament, questioning, and ultimately refusing to let God lead me. I felt abandoned, my husband informed of years of infidelity, I was completely lost. I had given up on God, but God had not given up on me.
The Tremors Arrive
I attempt to wrestle back some semblance of control of my life by going back to work after five years of being conditionally bedridden. But, more specialists, more tests, more questions are still left unanswered. And other surprises await me.
Mental Health Comes Forward
Previous diagnoses of Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder resurface and begin to make life extremely complicated. Navigating stigma within and outside faith communities adds new weight.
Grief: part 1
Life becomes unbearably strange. My mother-in-law has heart valve surgery in Jan of 2013 and passes away in Sep. I begin to realize that I just might need help from somewhere outside of myself.
Rock Bottom
Everything comes to a head. I've worked my body, mind, and spirit to exhaustion. My relationships have become overwhelming with disastrous results. I try to take my life.
Grief: part 2
Just when we thought life was becoming balanced, Alivia Jude was born in summer 2014, then my sister-in-law Jodi married in October. Then Alivia developed seizures and she passes away in May of 2015, devastating our family.
Neuropathy Begins to Take Over
I begin to show signs of neurological issues. A neurologist informs me that I have overtaxed my body and says if I don't stop working, it will only get worse. I stubbornly refuse to use a cane.
The Pivot — Purpose in the Pain
Online connections with other chronic illness warriors reveal how many are navigating faith and illness alone. A community quietly takes root.
CI Life Warrior Takes Form
The founding mission is formally articulated: no one should face chronic illness feeling abandoned by either the medical system or their faith community.
First Products Reach Warriors
The first accessible devotionals and adaptive prayer journals are launched. Community members hold them in their hands — and feel genuinely seen.
Pandemic Proves the Mission
COVID-19 isolates the world. The CI community, already familiar with homebound living, steps forward to support others navigating sudden isolation.
Official Launch
CI Life Warrior officially launches as a registered entity. Virtual prayer circles begin meeting weekly, welcoming warriors from their beds and couches.
Resources Expand
Holistic health content, support group directories, and mobility aid guides go live — bridging medical and spiritual care for the growing community.
Partnerships and Prayer Circles Grow
Healthcare partnerships with counselors and clergy deepen. Prayer circles expand to daily drop-in sessions, now serving warriors every day of the week.
A Thriving Community
Thousands of warriors served. Testimonials pour in from across the country. The community grows richer and more diverse — united by faith and resilience.
Widening the Circle
New accessibility tools, expanded resource pages, and a growing team bring the mission to more warriors than ever before.
Still Standing — Still Serving
The journey is ongoing. Every prayer circle held, every product crafted with love, every warrior reached is a living testament: you are not alone.
Faith That Sustained Me
Through every diagnosis and every setback, my faith was the thread that held everything together. Not a tidy, comfortable faith — but a raw, honest, wrestling kind of faith that cried out to God and kept showing up anyway.
It was in the darkest valleys that I encountered God most profoundly. Not in the healing I prayed for, but in the presence that met me in the middle of the unhealed place.
The Turning Point
There came a moment — not dramatic, but unmistakable — when the suffering I had endured began to feel like preparation. Every dismissed symptom, every Sunday I spent alone on my couch had been quietly shaping a calling.
I had been searching for a community that understood both the medical and spiritual dimensions of chronic illness. When I could not find one, I realized I was meant to build it.
You are not an interruption to God's plan. You are an integral part of it — even here, even like this, even on the hardest days.
CI Life Warrior was born out of the conviction that no one should face chronic illness feeling abandoned by either the medical system or their faith community.
Every devotional, every prayer circle, every affirmation card we create carries a simple message: you are seen, you are valid, and you are not alone.
Walk With Us
Whether you are newly diagnosed, years into your journey, or walking alongside a loved one — you belong here. The door is open and the community is waiting.